Locanto – Finding hope online

One of the interesting outcomes of being involved in the business of sexuality is that we get stories from different people from all walks of life.

And not all stories are sad and disturbing – We have one of a woman who found her girlfriend through Locanto Singapore. Yes, you read that right. Girlfriend. Locanto Singapore personals happens to be a rare place in an Asian society where one could find almost anything.

So when Sam (not her real name) shared with us her story of hooking up with her partner through Locanto Singapore, we were excited and happy for her.

Hi Sam! Thanks for dropping us a private message saying you wanted to tell us your story about how you found love via Locanto Singapore. We’re very honoured.

No worries. I am also encouraging all the women in the same situation as me to come out of the closet. It wasn’t an easy decision you know because in Singapore, LGBT relationships are quite frowned upon.

We understand, maybe if you don’t mind, you can tell us your story? You look rather young

Haha, thanks! I juice my fruits for breakfast, eat oats and exercise regularly. Well, this year I’m 31. Have been living on my own for a while, and…I lived a standard Singapore life for a while actually.

What’s a standard Singapore life?

You know, going to a convent school, junior college then university. I also grew up in a strict religious family. We were taught from young that god would send us all to hell for touching our privates. Basically I grew up warped. I didn’t like my body, felt it was dirty, and was afraid of guys. Didn’t help I had huge glasses and was very nerdy.

Right. When did you realise that your preferences were slightly different from others?

I would say it all started in secondary school. I was interested in this girl who was older, more talented, and bigger. There was once after physical education class she pushed me into the toilet, put her finger into my vagina and started stroking me and kissing my breasts.

I got so high and had to sit in class the whole day with wet panties! From then on, we used to have secret trysts in the toilet and in the staircases of the HDB blocks. No one really suspected anything because we didn’t look like the typical convent butches but two sweet young things with long hair. (laughs)

So in college and university things remained the same?

Actually, in college and University life was hell. I didn’t have time to really enjoy my life and look for a partner with like-minded preferences, and besides studying, the parents forced me to go to church. There, I met a couple of guys who were quite keen on me but I didn’t like to date guys. They are soooo boring! Always talking about going gym, Manchester United and WWE wrestling.

In university I finally met another girl from overseas who made me temporarily happy. Being located in campus and living far away from my parents, I could finally live by myself without their prying eyes.

Often my girlfriend came over and we would spend long hours cuddling in bed. Life was bliss, but it didn’t last long. She had to go back to Europe and once again, I was lost and lonely.

Did you try anything to change the situation?

Yeah I advertised on the local classified ads but didn’t get any positive response. Unfortunately I did have a lot of negative responses, mostly from men. They tried to ask me for sex and stuff. Nope, I have no desire for a penis. Nor do I have any desire from local guys who seem to either be very needy or are clueless as to what women want.

What are the other things you did?

Well, I did attempt to backpack and try my luck overseas. In Australia and New Zealand, I did hookup with a bunch of girls, though they just wanted a casual relationship and not a long term one. Was fun while it lasted though.

When I joined the media industry, I was hoping to find more partners like myself. Actually, there is a huge LGBT scene in Singapore, it just isn’t very public because we are still a conservative Asian society.

So I met a couple of girls like myself, but they were either too young or too aggressive. I desperately wanted to find a girl that I could communicate with, and a friend recommended Locanto Singapore.

So what I did was to take a look at the Locanto site. It was quite easy to use, so I decided to post up an ad for a lesbian partner. I added in the age range, personality requirements, quirks I hoped for etc.

Call me demanding, but at least if you end up with the right person you save a lot of time instead of blindly going through many partners just to find the right one.

What happened thereafter?

About two weeks after, when I actually forgot about the ad, I got a telephone call from someone who was seeking a partner and who had chanced upon my ad.

She almost fit the bill. She was quirky, funny and a bit loud. So we agreed to meet up in town.

Boy, was I amazed. I had no idea someone who was exactly like me could be found.  In terms of appearance, there were slight differences from what I imagined of course, but in all other aspects, she fit the bill perfectly.

I asked her to move in with me after 3 weeks and she agreed. I couldn’t be happier. The neighbours keep mistaking us as sisters (laughs) but that’s okay.

Being in a conservative Asian society, I’ve dated girls who are butch and the people around us keep passing nasty remarks.

Anyhow, we’ve been together for close to a year and still going strong!

We’re happy for you both. Any future plans?

We hope to immigrate to the UK. Society over there is more accepting of us. You know, it’s a strange world…I would never have found my partner if it weren’t for Locanto, but I always thought it was a website for buying stuff!